MIDNIGHT KISSES

I have always loved the stillness of night. I often wake around midnight or even three am and lay there listening to the creatures who seek prey or the ones who just share their beauty with a soft song under the snowy moon. Most of all I love the stillness. Rugged thoughts and tired bones feel as though they have dissolved with what little sleep I've had. My heart beats at a slow rhythmic pace and feels light and open. Perhaps I'm a woman of the night. Destined to always wake and have my blue veins bathed and turned silver by the light of galaxies far far away. The darkness seems to evoke an energy and a passion in my spirit. 

I use to love making love in the dead of the night. Sleepy intertwined bodies heavely and slowly would drape on top of each other. Half awake kisses trail along eyes still dreaming. Murmurs of passion are exchanged as we would lull each other with rhythmic rocks. No words spoken, we would be guided by only feeling and the energy of this sacred time. With sweat stained cheeks we would fall once again into the mould of each others bodies, skin on skin, and back into the theta mind. Perhaps a whisper of "I love you" somewhere or perhaps not..

I have a new love in my dark nights. They are my children. sometimes I creep next to them and stare into the cherub faces. I try to etch every crease, curve and detail of their innocent beings into my mind. I stroke their little noses and kiss their teeney toes. I hold them and cradle them and whisper promises of joy and that I will be a better mama tomorrow. Sometimes I drip sad tears onto their downy soft heads as their youth shows me how delicate and immortal this life is. The invincibility of my own childhood has been drained away and replaced with a deeper respect for birth and inevitable death. I see the veil between these two worlds become thinner and thinner as i become older. I then fill with gratitude and pride as I realize these children will be my greatest achievements. I bask in moonlight and in motherhood. 

Darkness is for reflection and reguventaion. We arrive earthside into darkness and are stationed in the watery portal of our mothers womb. Dark envelops us as we grow. It always fascinates me that the heart is formed in the embryo before any other organ, even before the brain. The heart then, should always come first in life. I do not believe in coincidences. This was meant to be. And what is last to go as we fall into the dark void of death? Our heart.. Darkness is woven in life and in death. It holds a power as bright as our light side. Do not fear the inky black skies or the parts of you that you shun away into the shadows of your subconscious mind. 

Embrace it all and howl to the moon wild woman! In your darkest hour something amazing is being born. You will shed and you will reform into the magnificence you were always meant to be xx

MONDAY MOTHERLY WISDOM - NIGHT NESTING

A little bottom shuffles quickly backwards to fit snugly into the crescent curve of my body. He likes the warmth and softness of my stomach and breasts.

The perfect place for a babe to rest.

He pushes his head up underneath my chin and I watch little tufts of snowy white hair rise and fall against my breath.

I stroke the smooth line from the center of his brow and down to the tip of his nose. His breath deepens and slows as he falls heavier into sleep from this magic touch.

I gently try to pull myself away but he stirs, so I stay.

I lay there in the dark and think of how equally blissful and frustrating it is to be doing nothing but inhaling the sweetness of my children.

Apart of me wants this moment to freeze in time and another cant help but think of all the things I need to do ; the dishes that need scrubbing, the floors that need sweeping, the world that needs changing...

But, what is life and the world if I can't stay just lay here curled up with my babies offering them the connection and comfort they crave during the night.

So, I decide to pull my darlings closer and kiss their creamy skin. I promise them that above all else I will gift them my time, whether its playing in the sunbeams or snuggling, 

one on top of the other, like a family of lion clubs beneath the silvery moon.

Astrid xx