Wednesday, March 25, 2015


I have always loved the stillness of night. I often wake around midnight or even three am and lay there listening to the creatures who seek prey or the ones who just share their beauty with a soft song under the snowy moon. Most of all I love the stillness. Rugged thoughts and tired bones feel as though they have dissolved with what little sleep I've had. My heart beats at a slow rhythmic pace and feels light and open. Perhaps I'm a woman of the night. Destined to always wake and have my blue veins bathed and turned silver by the light of galaxies far far away. The darkness seems to evoke an energy and a passion in my spirit. 

I use to love making love in the dead of the night. Sleepy intertwined bodies heavely and slowly would drape on top of each other. Half awake kisses trail along eyes still dreaming. Murmurs of passion are exchanged as we would lull each other with rhythmic rocks. No words spoken, we would be guided by only feeling and the energy of this sacred time. With sweat stained cheeks we would fall once again into the mould of each others bodies, skin on skin, and back into the theta mind. Perhaps a whisper of "I love you" somewhere or perhaps not..

I have a new love in my dark nights. They are my children. sometimes I creep next to them and stare into the cherub faces. I try to etch every crease, curve and detail of their innocent beings into my mind. I stroke their little noses and kiss their teeney toes. I hold them and cradle them and whisper promises of joy and that I will be a better mama tomorrow. Sometimes I drip sad tears onto their downy soft heads as their youth shows me how delicate and immortal this life is. The invincibility of my own childhood has been drained away and replaced with a deeper respect for birth and inevitable death. I see the veil between these two worlds become thinner and thinner as i become older. I then fill with gratitude and pride as I realize these children will be my greatest achievements. I bask in moonlight and in motherhood. 

Darkness is for reflection and reguventaion. We arrive earthside into darkness and are stationed in the watery portal of our mothers womb. Dark envelops us as we grow. It always fascinates me that the heart is formed in the embryo before any other organ, even before the brain. The heart then, should always come first in life. I do not believe in coincidences. This was meant to be. And what is last to go as we fall into the dark void of death? Our heart.. Darkness is woven in life and in death. It holds a power as bright as our light side. Do not fear the inky black skies or the parts of you that you shun away into the shadows of your subconscious mind. 

Embrace it all and howl to the moon wild woman! In your darkest hour something amazing is being born. You will shed and you will reform into the magnificence you were always meant to be xx

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful words, Astrid. It reminded me of when I used to love my time alone in the middle of the night rather than fretting about how little sleep I was getting. x